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Author: roguelionmedia
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Trump Tells America War Will End When Ayatollah Recinds “Tiny Hands Trump” Comment
President Donald Trump announced at a last-minute White House press conference that peace is possible—if the Ayatollah retracts his “Tiny HandsTrump” remark. “War ends when he takes it back,” Trump declared, waving his hands. “Everyone’s talking. Tremendous hands. Huge hands. Ask Melania!” Sources say the U.S.-Iran conflict, ignited by an exchange of absurd insults, peaked…
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And, April’s Winner is….(Again)
April 2026 Risible Award: Congress Earns Its Clown Shoes—Again It’s hard to pick just one low point in American politics these days, but the recurring circus in Congress—where a routine government funding bill once again became a battleground—deserves a special prize. Historically, both parties have used shutdown threats as leverage, and this time is no…
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Tuesdays at the WH—Cabinet Always Giddily Awaits Weekly Play Raid with Eric’s “Injuns”
Just after 3 p.m. every Tuesday, anticipation settles over the West Wing. Cabinet members, exchanging nervous giggles, rummage through the labeled costume trunk always present in the Oval Office and don ten-gallon hats and plastic sheriff badges, resigned to the President’s weekly ritual. At 3:07, a Secret Service agent cracks open the Oval Office door.…
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NASA, Now Trump Intergalactic Property Acquisitions, Inc. Plans Moon Survey for New Trump Hotels
In a press conference today, President Donald J. Trump unveiled the nation’s boldest space initiative since Apollo: a mission to put surveyors—and, more importantly, property survey marks—on the Moon, all in search of prime real estate for the next Trump International Hotel or casino. “We’re going to the Moon, folks, and not just for the…
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Trump Supporters Say Don’t Care About Inflation as Long as Opioid Co-Pays “Still Only $1.”
HUNTINGTON, WV — A new poll conducted this week in Huntington illustrates that local Trump supporters appear unconcerned about soaring grocery prices, gasoline hikes, or the fact that a pack of Marlboros now costs more than a 1998 Honda Civic, so long as Medicaid co-pays for prescription opioids “stay right at a buck.” The poll…
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New Psychiatric Study Says BSCS Often Misdiagnosed as Spasmodic Dysphonia
Hyannis Port, MA — In a shocking revelation set to influence both the medical and political worlds, a new psychiatric study published in the Journal of Often Misdiagnosed Disorders has found that Bat Shit Crazy Syndrome (BSCS) is frequently misdiagnosed as spasmodic dysphonia. The findings have unsettled the Department of Health and Human Services, where…
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MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
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Patel Takes Houthis Off Watch List, Says Word Too Hard to Say After Drinking
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Trump’s New Tehran Luxury Hotel Demand Disrupts U.S.- Iranian Nuclear Talks
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ICE Arrests Count von Count as Work Visa Revoked Following PBS Defunding
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined