U.S. POLITICS
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Democrats Demand Congressman Resign After Refusing to Ask Aide About Preferred Pronouns
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning act of defiance that has rocked the Democratic Party to its core, Rep. Elliot…
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Tuesdays at the WH—Cabinet Always Giddily Awaits Weekly Play Raid with Eric’s “Injuns”
Just after 3 p.m. every Tuesday, anticipation settles over the West Wing. Cabinet members, exchanging nervous giggles, rummage through the…
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Thune Rents Retirement Office Space for McConnell in Attic of Bates Motel
Coeur d’Alene, ID. — Senate Majority Leader John Thune has reportedly secured a post-retirement office for Mitch McConnell in the…
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Man Who Says He’s “Sick of Stupid” Pulls Costumed Bulldog Through Capitol
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC) made headlines Tuesday after he was spotted dragging a bulldog clad in a…
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DHS Pick Mullin Boasts of ‘Special Assignments’ Abroad, Alludes He Once Dated ‘Pussy Galore’
Washington, D.C. — President Trump announced today that Oklahoma Senator Markwayne “Skeeter” Mullin is his pick for Secretary of Homeland…
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Democrats’ Response to SOU Indicates They Apparently Not Interested in Winning Midterms
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the latest sign that congressional Democrats are embracing defeat like a weighted blanket, Virginia Governor Abigail…
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WH Says Children Will Now Require $5 Million Gold Card to Participate in 2027 Easter Egg Roll
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move White House officials are calling “the logical next step in American childhood,” the Trump…
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