LIFESTYLE
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In Blistering Social Media Post, God Responds to “Dinkie Donny’s” Criticism of Pope
HEAVEN—In a rare break from ages of celestial silence, God took to social media Monday morning to address President Donald…
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God says He and Trump not talked since before first Epstein Party, and particularly not About War
Heaven — In an exclusive revelation that’s left theologians and White House press secretaries scrambling for new talking points, God…
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West Virginia Wedding Day Goulash and Texas Jackaloupe Stew
Classic West Virginia Kissin’ Cousins Wedding Day Goulash Let’s be honest: when you think of West Virginia cuisine, you probably…
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Schumer-Intentionally Sporting the “Balding Jewish Geppetto” Look…with Attitude
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move that’s sent shockwaves through Capitol Hill’s style scene, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer…
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First U.S. Pope Schedules Speech in Broken English to Appeal to More Traditional Catholics
VATICAN CITY — Newly elected Pope Leo XIV announced his next papal address will be delivered in intentionally broken English—a…
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Ayatollah Tells Paradise Greeter He Specifically Remembers Being Promised 72 Only Female Virgins
In sources describing it as an “awkward celestial encounter,” the recently deceased Iranian Ayatollah Ali Khamenei reportedly faced paradise on…
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AI Chat Bot Says Jesus “Completely Full of Shit” With His Beatitudes Speech
In what theologians are calling “a bold exercise in algorithmic hubris,” the world’s most advanced AI search bot issued a…
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