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Category: Lifestyle
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined
During a press conference, President Trump claimed his prostate exam was “the most perfect” ever, maintaining extraordinary health for an 80-year-old. While his doctor confirmed normal results, Trump insisted on the uniqueness of his anatomy. He also dismissed health rumors, emphasizing his strength and energy, and vowed to share his medical results publicly.
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In Blistering Social Media Post, God Responds to “Dinkie Donny’s” Criticism of Pope
HEAVEN—In a rare break from ages of celestial silence, God took to social media Monday morning to address President Donald J. Trump’s recent tirade against Pope Leo XIV, issuing a statement that left theologians and Facebook users alike scrambling for their Bibles and God speak translation dictionaries. “Just saw ‘Dinkie Donny’ blabbering about my guy…
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God says He and Trump not talked since before first Epstein Party, and particularly not About War
Heaven — In an exclusive revelation that’s left theologians and White House press secretaries scrambling for new talking points, God announced Tuesday that He has not spoken to Donald Trump “since sometime before the guest list for that first Epstein party went out.” The statement came just hours after President Trump boldly asserted, “God is…
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New Psychiatric Study Says BSCS Often Misdiagnosed as Spasmodic Dysphonia
Hyannis Port, MA — In a shocking revelation set to influence both the medical and political worlds, a new psychiatric study published in the Journal of Often Misdiagnosed Disorders has found that Bat Shit Crazy Syndrome (BSCS) is frequently misdiagnosed as spasmodic dysphonia. The findings have unsettled the Department of Health and Human Services, where…
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West Virginia Wedding Day Goulash and Texas Jackaloupe Stew
Classic West Virginia Kissin’ Cousins Wedding Day Goulash Let’s be honest: when you think of West Virginia cuisine, you probably imagine steaming pots of soup beans, cornbread, maybe a squirrel stew or two. But there’s one dish that’s become a “classic” in the hills with all the cousins— the regional favorite no one can resist—West…
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Dr. Dix, Can My Peyronies….
Dear Dr. Dix, I’m a 24-year-old fella from southern Arkansas, and I reckon I got a problem no one here at the bait shop can help with. Ever since my, uh, little buddy started pointing due south (the way a hound dog’s tail looks when you mention the vet), I’ve been worried. Dr. Google says…
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MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
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ICE Arrests Count von Count as Work Visa Revoked Following PBS Defunding
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined
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Trump Fumes as Ship Transporting Paddleballs Destined for Administration Staff, Detained in Hormuz
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Trump Nominates “Little” Vinny DeVito, Miami Serve-Pro Wet-vac Technician, to Lead FEMA