by
Author: roguelionmedia
-

F.C.C. Chair Threatens Suit with D.C. Chinese Buffet Over President’s Unfavorable Cookie Fortune
During a recent Fox News interview, the FCC Chair promised legal action after President Trump received a fortune cookie that read, “You may soon unexpectedly face the consequences of your actions, maybe in the mid-term elections.” Sources say the President immediately asked whether the kitchen staff was “part of the deep state.” Aides said the…
-

Man Wearing Mascara and Eyeliner Says He “Taking Tough Position” in Iranian War Negotiations
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a striking display of both diplomatic resolve and impeccable lash definition, Vice-President J.D. Vance assured reporters Tuesday that he’s “taking a tough position” in negotiations to end the latest U.S.-Iranian war, despite persistent questions about his bold new eye makeup routine. “I want to make it clear to the Supreme Leader…
by
-

ICE Begins National Raids on Any Venue Hiding a Taco Tuesday on Their Menu
In a sweeping escalation of its immigration enforcement efforts, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents fanned out across the country Tuesday, targeting a new hotbed of “suspicious activity”: restaurants, college dining halls, and even PTA potlucks that dared to offer Taco Tuesday specials. According to sources inside ICE, the move is part of Operation…
by
-

Bible Now on Mandatory Reading List for All 15 Years of Texas Grade School
AUSTIN, TX — In a bold move to address “educashunal priorities,” Texas lawmakers announced today that the Holy Bible will be a required text for every year of the state’s voluntary K-12 grade school system—now officially extended to 15 years “for extra learnin’.” The announcement came at a press conference attended by state education officials,…
by










