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Author: roguelionmedia
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FedEx Tariff Suit with White House Delayed as Legal Papers Delivered to Wrong Address
Legal experts and delivery drivers were confused Monday when the FedEx v. White House lawsuit was delayed again after its legal documents were sent to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Apt. B, in Scranton, Pennsylvania. The lawsuit over now-defunct tariffs took a new turn after a Supreme Court ruling declared them “unconstitutional, uncollectible, and, in one case,…
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AI Chat Bot Says Jesus “Completely Full of Shit” With His Beatitudes Speech
In what theologians are calling “a bold exercise in algorithmic hubris,” the world’s most advanced AI search bot issued a blistering statement this week, declaring Jesus “completely full of shit” after parsing the Sermon on the Mount. The announcement, released via a 3,000-word medium post and a meme-laden Twitter thread, specifically targeted the Beatitudes—a set…
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DeSantis Demands “Woke” Disney Include New Alligator Alley Detention Center in 2027 “Tropical Americas” Exhibit
ORLANDO, FL— In a bold move that has left both park visitors and civil rights attorneys puzzled, the White House announced Wednesday that a fully operational ICE detention center will be part of Disney World’s upcoming “Tropical Americas” exhibit, scheduled to open in 2027. Officials say the immersive experience will let families get up close…
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China Secures Prime Trade Deal After Agreeing to Free Trump from Chinese Finger Trap
What experts are calling a “historic diplomatic breakthrough” and late-night comedians are calling “the most on-brand example of presidential incompetence” is the Chinese government’s sweeping new trade agreement with the United States, reached after negotiations secured President Donald Trump’s release from a Chinese finger trap — a device he reportedly became ensnared in during what…
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MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
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Patel Takes Houthis Off Watch List, Says Word Too Hard to Say After Drinking
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Trump’s New Tehran Luxury Hotel Demand Disrupts U.S.- Iranian Nuclear Talks
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ICE Arrests Count von Count as Work Visa Revoked Following PBS Defunding
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined