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Author: roguelionmedia
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Trump Supporters Worry That Cuts to NEA May Impact Ted Nugent Action Figure Museum
Trump fans are usually the first to cheer when someone threatens to cut government funding, but this week, many of them found themselves in a strange spot: suddenly worried about the National Endowment for the Arts. Why? Turns out, cutting the NEA might pull the rug out from under the Ted Nugent Action Figure Museum—a…
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WH Says Children Will Now Require $5 Million Gold Card to Participate in 2027 Easter Egg Roll
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move White House officials are calling “the logical next step in American childhood,” the Trump administration announced Friday that all children wishing to participate in the 2027 White House Easter Egg Roll will be required to present a $5 million Gold Card at the gate. President Trump unveiled the new…
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Announcing “War-on-Woke”, Hegseth Starts Speech With Favorite Blond Joke
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that even the most hardened members of the Trump administration found shocking, newly appointed Secretary of War Pete Hegseth began his first official speech by telling his “favorite Blond joke.” The gathered press, many of whom were still reeling from the aftershock of the last Trump Administration, instinctively braced…
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Gas Soars to Almost 5 New Trump Coins Per Gallon
In a shocking sign of the times and because of the new war with Iran, Americans woke up today to find the national average price of gasoline had skyrocketed to an unprecedented five Trump Coins per gallon, sparking confusion, nostalgia for the days of just inflation, and at least one fistfight at a Florida Wawa…
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First U.S. Pope Schedules Speech in Broken English to Appeal to More Traditional Catholics
VATICAN CITY — Newly elected Pope Leo XIV announced his next papal address will be delivered in intentionally broken English—a bold move aimed at comforting traditional Catholics who miss the days when Vatican pronouncements were anything but clear. Pope Leo XIV, formerly Robert Francis Prevost, known as “Little Bobby-Franny,” in his hometown neighborhood in Chi-town,…
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Dead Ayatollah Still Defiantly Refuses to See Irony in Having Led Chants of “Death to America”
In what commentators have described as a “bold posthumous statement,” Iran’s late Supreme Leader remained steadfastly unamused by the situational irony of leading multiple rousing “Death to America” chants, despite having been killed during the opening salvo of the latest U.S.-Iranian conflict. Eyewitnesses report that, just hours after the U.S. Air Force’s initial bomb strike…
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MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
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Patel Takes Houthis Off Watch List, Says Word Too Hard to Say After Drinking
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Trump’s New Tehran Luxury Hotel Demand Disrupts U.S.- Iranian Nuclear Talks
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ICE Arrests Count von Count as Work Visa Revoked Following PBS Defunding
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined