Legal experts and delivery drivers were confused Monday when the FedEx v. White House lawsuit was delayed again after its legal documents were sent to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Apt. B, in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
The lawsuit over now-defunct tariffs took a new turn after a Supreme Court ruling declared them “unconstitutional, uncollectible, and, in one case, ‘oddly sticky.’” The decision aimed to end the case, but FedEx’s well-known delivery mishap has now revived it.
Sources report that the papers were last seen “out for delivery,” then tracked through stops in Toledo, a Quiznos basement in Bethesda, and finally to a “front porch,” which was the hood of a 2007 Prius. In the end, they were signed for by a man named “Greg.” No one knows Greg.
A FedEx spokesperson said, “We pride ourselves on reliably delivering packages to the wrong
address, but this time, the spotlight was brighter. We apologize to the Supreme Court, both parties, and Greg, who now holds U.S. trade law in a padded envelope.”
The White House responded, saying it hadn’t received filings but did get “three Amazon boxes for ‘Trump, Barron, c/o The Big House’ and a Hulu Plus coupon.” They’re “actively searching for Greg” and will “take action when the papers are found—or if FedEx delivers them to the correct building, whichever is first.”
Legal analysts say the delay won’t impact the Supreme Court’s decision, but it underscores the absurdity of an already chaotic case. “This is the first time,” said constitutional scholar Linda Harrow, “that a case was delayed by package delivery. It’s both beautiful and deeply troubling.”
For now, the fate of the lawsuit—and maybe U.S. tariffs—rests with Greg, who, according to tracking, is “enjoying a sandwich and considering FedEx employment.”
