HUNTINGTON, WV — A new poll conducted this week in Huntington illustrates that local Trump supporters appear unconcerned about soaring grocery prices, gasoline hikes, or the fact that a pack of Marlboros now costs more than a 1998 Honda Civic, so long as Medicaid co-pays for prescription opioids “stay right at a buck.” The poll finds a prioritization of opioid access over any economic concerns.
The survey, commissioned by the Greater Huntington Center for Creative Denial, revealed that while 82% noticed their grocery bill had “jumped about threefold,” 97% reported they “couldn’t care less” about inflation if their monthly oxycodone was still a dollar. “I don’t know what eggs cost now, but as long as I get my pain meds for a dollar, I’m good,” said lifelong resident Roger “Buck” Tidwell, who claims he hasn’t felt his lower back since 2014.
The poll results arrive amid West Virginia’s ongoing opioid crisis, which local doctors have called “the only thing in town faster than the price of bread.” Despite warnings from health officials about overprescribing, area clinics still hand out more scripts than Halloween candy, with some practitioners signing so rapidly they’ve developed carpal tunnel. “We’re just trying to keep up,” said Dr. Ken McMasters, scribbling on a pad labeled ‘Hydrocodone — 100 tabs.’
When asked if rising costs impacted their lives, most respondents remained unfazed. “Gas is expensive, sure, and rent went up, but I can still get my meds for a dollar at the Rite Aid,” said Crystal, 32, who declined to give her last name but offered to sell the reporter a knee brace. “If they ever raise that co-pay? Then you’ll see protests.”
Still, not everyone is satisfied. Some local business owners said customers now have “less money for scratch-offs and Monster,” blaming slow sales on what one gas station clerk called “the opioid discount loophole.” The passage lampoons the local economy’s vice dependence. Yet, while Huntington makes headlines for prescription rates “rivaling the GDP of some countries,” most residents stay focused on what matters: keeping Medicaid co-pays low, inflation be damned.
At press time, poll organizers reported a slight increase in people caring about the price of Doritos—after learning Medicaid doesn’t cover Cool Ranch.
