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Tag: MAGA
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Supporters Still Patiently Awaiting Campaign Promise of Free Tickets to “Gullible’s Getaway Weekend”
PALM BEACH, FL — For the seventh consecutive year, diehard MAGA enthusiasts nationwide are clinging to hope that their long-awaited campaign promise of an all-expense-paid weekend at Mar-a-Lago for the “Gullibles Getaway Weekend”—a resort package repeatedly teased by Donald Trump at campaign rallies and promised in exchange for their vote—will finally come to fruition. The…
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Trump Supporters Say Don’t Care About Inflation as Long as Opioid Co-Pays “Still Only $1.”
HUNTINGTON, WV — A new poll conducted this week in Huntington illustrates that local Trump supporters appear unconcerned about soaring grocery prices, gasoline hikes, or the fact that a pack of Marlboros now costs more than a 1998 Honda Civic, so long as Medicaid co-pays for prescription opioids “stay right at a buck.” The poll…
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Trump Supporters Worry That Cuts to NEA May Impact Ted Nugent Action Figure Museum
Trump fans are usually the first to cheer when someone threatens to cut government funding, but this week, many of them found themselves in a strange spot: suddenly worried about the National Endowment for the Arts. Why? Turns out, cutting the NEA might pull the rug out from under the Ted Nugent Action Figure Museum—a…
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Gas Soars to Almost 5 New Trump Coins Per Gallon
In a shocking sign of the times and because of the new war with Iran, Americans woke up today to find the national average price of gasoline had skyrocketed to an unprecedented five Trump Coins per gallon, sparking confusion, nostalgia for the days of just inflation, and at least one fistfight at a Florida Wawa…
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MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
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ICE Arrests Count von Count as Work Visa Revoked Following PBS Defunding
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined
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Trump Fumes as Ship Transporting Paddleballs Destined for Administration Staff, Detained in Hormuz
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Trump Nominates “Little” Vinny DeVito, Miami Serve-Pro Wet-vac Technician, to Lead FEMA