PALM BEACH, FL — For the seventh consecutive year, diehard MAGA enthusiasts nationwide are clinging to hope that their long-awaited campaign promise of an all-expense-paid weekend at Mar-a-Lago for the “Gullibles Getaway Weekend”—a resort package repeatedly teased by Donald Trump at campaign rallies and promised in exchange for their vote—will finally come to fruition.
The all-inclusive event, rumored to include unlimited “truth socials,” a scavenger hunt for Hillary’s emails, and a poolside seminar on alternative facts, has become something of a holy grail for the red-capped faithful. “President Trump promised us VIP passes back in 2016, right after he told us Mexico was going to pay for the wall,” said Ron Earl, a QAnon Facebook moderator from Tennessee. “He doesn’t break promises. You must believe hard enough. Like, hard. Like, believe in the Tooth Fairy hard.”
Despite the lack of concrete details, a registration page, or even a functioning customer service line, supporters say they’re undeterred. “Trump’s a genius businessman. He wouldn’t dangle a free weekend of patriotism and bitching about Democrats without delivering,” insisted Lorraine F., who recently mortgaged her home for a commemorative NFT. “Liberals just want to ruin our fun by pointing out ‘facts’ and ‘reality.’”
The mythic weekend, originally billed as a “once-in-a-lifetime MAGA-palooza,” has been repeatedly postponed, most recently because of “deep state interference” and “unforeseen scheduling conflicts with civil court appearances.” Still, believers are lining up by the thousands, proudly displaying their expired confirmation emails and commemorative hotel keycards, all signed “DJT.”
Political analysts note that this isn’t the first time MAGA supporters have shown an almost-athletic level of gullibility. “These are people who believe Jesus is coming back to endorse Trump,” said Dr. Maya Stern, a professor who teaches a course on Political Gullibility at Georgetown. “If Trump announced tomorrow that the tickets were hidden in a box of Trump Steaks, we’d see a run on freezer aisles by noon.”
With the 2026 midterm cycle ramping up, the Getaway’s prospects remain as elusive as a functioning Trump University diploma and a Trump steak. But for the hopeful few, faith—and a high tolerance for disappointment—remains unshakable. “All good things come to those who wait,” said Ron Earl, refreshing his inbox for the 43,000th time.
