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Tag: Trump
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Sesame Street Characters Strike Deal to Deliver President’s Daily National Security Briefings
In an unprecedented move that has left both intelligence officials and puppeteers scratching their heads, the beloved cast of Sesame Street has reportedly inked a deal to deliver the President’s daily national security briefing pro bono—in exchange for a promise not to defund PBS. Sources close to the negotiations say the arrangement was struck late…
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China Secures Prime Trade Deal After Agreeing to Free Trump from Chinese Finger Trap
What experts are calling a “historic diplomatic breakthrough” and late-night comedians are calling “the most on-brand example of presidential incompetence” is the Chinese government’s sweeping new trade agreement with the United States, reached after negotiations secured President Donald Trump’s release from a Chinese finger trap — a device he reportedly became ensnared in during what…
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MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
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ICE Arrests Count von Count as Work Visa Revoked Following PBS Defunding
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined
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Trump Fumes as Ship Transporting Paddleballs Destined for Administration Staff, Detained in Hormuz
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Trump Nominates “Little” Vinny DeVito, Miami Serve-Pro Wet-vac Technician, to Lead FEMA