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Tag: Pope Leo XIV
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In Blistering Social Media Post, God Responds to “Dinkie Donny’s” Criticism of Pope
HEAVEN—In a rare break from ages of celestial silence, God took to social media Monday morning to address President Donald J. Trump’s recent tirade against Pope Leo XIV, issuing a statement that left theologians and Facebook users alike scrambling for their Bibles and God speak translation dictionaries. “Just saw ‘Dinkie Donny’ blabbering about my guy…
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Netanyahu Convinces Trump, Pope Leo, and Vatican City Next “Imminent Threat”
In a surprising move that has left international observers reciting their rosaries and scratching their heads, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu has reportedly convinced President Trump that the greatest next threat to world peace is no longer merely lurking in the Middle East but rather in the authoritarian halls of Vatican City, led by the shadowy…
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First U.S. Pope Schedules Speech in Broken English to Appeal to More Traditional Catholics
VATICAN CITY — Newly elected Pope Leo XIV announced his next papal address will be delivered in intentionally broken English—a bold move aimed at comforting traditional Catholics who miss the days when Vatican pronouncements were anything but clear. Pope Leo XIV, formerly Robert Francis Prevost, known as “Little Bobby-Franny,” in his hometown neighborhood in Chi-town,…
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