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Tag: SCOTUS
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SCOTUS Admits They All “Usually Been Drinking at Kavanaugh’s” While Making New Term Decisions
In a move that shocked nobody and who’s ever wondered what really happens behind those imposing marble columns, the Supreme Court of the United States has admitted that, yes, they’re all “usually getting pretty ‘loosey-goosey’ at Kavanaugh’s house” while making any major term decisions. Chief Justice John Roberts, looking unusually relaxed in an untucked Hawaiian…
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SCOTUS Deliberates if CA. Law Outlawing Bannon from Looking Disheveled in Public Unconstitutional
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The nation’s highest court confronted a shaggy legal quandary Tuesday as justices weighed oral arguments over a California law requiring Steve Bannon to appear “at least moderately kept” in public. The law, stating Bannon must be “clean-shaven, freshly laundered, and not emitting an odor detectable within a fifteen-foot radius,” has ignited debate over personal…
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MISCELLANEOUS STORIES
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ICE Arrests Count von Count as Work Visa Revoked Following PBS Defunding
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Post Annual Physical, President Declares He Has “Most Perfect Prostate” Ever Digitally Examined
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Trump Fumes as Ship Transporting Paddleballs Destined for Administration Staff, Detained in Hormuz
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Trump Nominates “Little” Vinny DeVito, Miami Serve-Pro Wet-vac Technician, to Lead FEMA